Remembering LaVerne

It has been 4 years now since LaVerne passed away and left this earth.  This picture is still one of my favorites of her, with her dad Nick, at a Christmas gathering in New Bern.  The look on her face is classic LaVerne, especially the mischievous twinkle in her eye.  When I think of her, this is often the look I recall.

Last Sunday at Jubilee! the words on the program spoke loudly to me about my loss of this lovely lady.  They were written by Howard Hanger, our Minister of Ritual & Guidance.  I share them in the hope they might be of help to someone else during this season called via negativa, the season of loss.

"Sooner or later, of course, everything comes to an end.  The symphony draws to a close, the story wraps up, the lover leaves, the credits run, the curtain comes down, the flavor of the gum plays out, the last dance really is the last dance.  All things have a finale.  All things.  With even the intelligence of a kumquat, you know that.  But the fact can still catch you off guard.  And when it ends - whatever it may be - the last thing you want to hear or say is, "Is that all there is?"

We want our lives - like our ice cream cartons - to be full.  To be rich and abundant.  We want life - all of our lives - to be packed in, pressed down, bubbling up, spilling over.  We want life to Niagra its way through each day and squeeze out the last little drop of it before we drop off to sleep.

But sometimes, there's emptiness.  Sometimes there's bareness and barrenness.  Sometimes, the movie doesn't make any sense and the diagnosis is not what we ever wanted to hear.  Now and again life doesn't measure up to our expectations and we find ourselves asking, "Is that all there is?"

Enter faith.  Enter trust.  Enter an ever-so-subtle-reminder that emptiness is as much a part of the story as fullness.  Faith and trust don't paint a happy face on your soul.  Faith and trust walk with your soul through the muck and the merriment.  Through desolate hallways and music-filled ballrooms.

Is that all there is?  Sometimes, the only answer we can hear is, "Yes".  But faith reminds us that there are infinite worlds within and among us.  Faith sits patiently with our hearts and brains and somehow lets us know that there's more going on than we can possibly imagine.  Faith tells again the story that all there is, is never all there is."

A few days ago I saw a news clip about the author of a new book writing about his near death experience.  He described being fully aware without having arms, legs or a body, and being a spot on a butterfly's wing.  It was an inspiring description of what life after this one might be like. 

Who knows?  I don't, but LaVerne does.  Peace be with you, dear one.  You are still loved and remembered.