Sitting on the Edge

I'm sitting on the edge right now - literally.  I'm situated on the southern edge of a severe line of weather to the north, with tornadoes and damaging winds.  And I feel fortunate that the thunder beings have so far chosen not to be here today.  Above you can see the effects of their previous visits this week.  The dog park has become a dog pond, with about a hundred previously hidden tennis balls floating around!

I'm also on the back edge of my time here in Florida and the leading edge of the next phase of my travels.  I'll be heading back to Fletcher, NC, near Asheville, tomorrow.  But before I leave here, just a few thoughts about this life changing visit.

The People  Besides the wonderful time spent with my sister, Barbara, and her family, I also had visits from my daughter Barbara and her family, plus long time friend Jan Wynns from Raleigh.  And I've also met some fine folks here at Sun n Fun, and here are a few of them.  Ginger was my first friend made here and she introduced me to many other folks.  Thank you, Ginger!

Debbie and Ginger

Steven and Ginger

Lynn and Walt

There were many other good folks I met and didn't get good pictures of, like Adam and Angie, Rick, Earle, and those whose names I'm just not recalling right now, but will as soon as I hit the "publish" button. 

Mardis Gras at Sun n Fun will always be a good memory for me.  As Howard Hanger said in a Jubilee! service recently, "Remember is to put back together, like that first knee-buckling kiss from a new lover!"  I had one of those while here, and I will remember it for a long, long time.  My knees still tremble when I think about it!  Thank you sweet lady! 

There were the plays, the Brotherhood of Fire and Light retreat with Jim Rosemergy, Disney World, the Chinese Acrobats, Siesta Key Oyster Bar and the beach, more scooter rides than I can count, great sea food and much more.  It has been a wonderful stay and I will remember it always. 

And even though I was here physically, I stayed in touch with Jubilee! thanks to their pod casts.  Otherwise I would have missed hearing things like "Jesus was never a Christian, you know, he was always a Jew."  Huh!? Or, "Why don't we ever think of Jesus farting and belching.  After all, he was a man."  Howard rocks my world and I'm grateful! 

Corned beef a la Luis

My last dinner at the Sierra's was one to remember.  Luis fixed corned beef "a la Luis" and it was splendid!  Besides the traditional herbs and spices, Luis added his own secret Latin style flavors, plus sangria, to the marinade.  After the meat was cooked, he removed it and put the vegetables in juices to cook: cabbage, potatoes, sweet potatoes, plantains and sweet peppers.  As the old almond joy commercial used to say, it was indescribably delicious!  Thanks you Luis, and Mike and Jen, for the many fine dinners!  I'm grateful! 

Well, the thunder beings are closer now, the breeze is cooler and I think we may be in for a thumping.  So, I'll sign off while I can and say "happy trails" until we meet again. 

Thanks for stopping by!  What a trip this has been!  Is!  Will be!!!

Closure

My last week in Florida for this season has begun and I have a lot of mixed feelings.  And they are swinging like a pendulum, happy-sad, excited-blah, anxious to leave-don't wanna go.  So this week I'm trying to do things that I've been putting off, like going to an Orioles game.  It was great fun!  Standing room only in a very fine and newly refurbished stadium playing the Yankees.  When I left at the end of 7 innings, the O's were ahead 6 to 1.  And, I've been trying to continue doing the things I like, such as seeing my nephew play baseball and dinners with the Sierra's.

In the last game of his that I saw, Jason was 2 for 4 at the plate and his team was ahead 17 to 4 after 4 innings, when the game was stopped for the mercy rule.  Good thing.  It was a solid thumping by Cardinal Mooney and no use to keep playing.  Unfortunately, I missed the game yesterday due to a scheduling error on my part.  Hopefully I can catch at least one more before I go.

And then there has been March Madness.  Lord knows how much I love those Tar Heels!  They made up for some of those heart-stopping close ones by opening up a big ole can of whup ass on Marquette last night.  Don't know that I've ever seen them play better defense.  It was an awesome sight and Marquette finally came around a little bit, but it was too little, too late and the Heels prevailed.  Sure wish Ohio State had won so that I could have made a wager with niece Jennifer's husband, Mike.  That was a great game and could easily have gone the other way. 

Went to the movies today for a change of pace and because it had been so long since I'd seen one.  "The Lincoln Lawyer" was my pick for today and it was very good.  Matthew McConaughey, Marisa Tomei, William H. Macy performed well for a well written story.  Mat and Morris had a very steamy scene and the sparks appeared quite real.  Yee ha!  It (the movie, that is) sagged a bit in the middle, but made up for it at the end.  I also want to see "Win Win' with Paul Giamotti, and Spielberg has one coming out June 10, "Super 8", that looks to be a very good one.  Happy birthday to me! 

The Burg's thermometer read 92 when I rode home around 2, so I may head for the pool for a soak.  I have a feeling that the pool in Asheville will be more than a little chilly when I get there, if it's even filled yet. 

Closure with this visit has begun with me pulling away from people emotionally and physically to ease the pain of "good-byes".  Of course a change in geography will bring a change in climate, and I'm looking forward to that.  I love the chill of mountain air and the warmth of a crackling camp fire.  It will also be good to see old friends, close relatives and of course experience Jubilee! in person. 

Thanks for stopping by!

The Color of Sacrifice

The message at Jubilee! on March 13 was all about the color of sacrifice.  It has made me take a close look at sacrifices I have made, sacrifices others have made for me and what I may do in the future in this regard.  Pondering this tends to put me in a somber mood, which may well be the nature of giving something up.  But there was also a lighter moment or two as I wound my way through this color of the wind of spirit and how it touches me.

From Howard's message: "In deciding what to give up, we know what is important to live for."
"The path without obstacles seldom leads anywhere worthwhile."
"It ain't the act, it's the intent.  It ain't the deed, it's the purpose."
"What are you living for?  What are you willing to sacrifice for?"

When he spoke of Ashe Wednesday and the anointing of the forehead with ashes to remind us of our mortality, I was reminded of a hilarious incident involving LaVerne at mass one time.  She was sitting near the front (I wasn't there) and was recruited to stand and help the priest put the ashes on people's foreheads and say whatever was supposed to be said.  She was too surprised to decline his request, even though she couldn't remember what she was supposed to say!  So she put the ashes on them and said whatever came to mind and seemed appropriate for that person.  She said a few folks looked very surprised, but most were just fine with her words of blessing.  When she told me about this, we laughed until we cried!  It was one of the funniest stories she ever told.  Then we cried about her own mortality, and mine. 

Near the end of the service, Howard sang a very quirky song with strange lyrics and even stranger melody:
"And I would walk 500 miles,
And I would walk 500 more,
Just to be the man who walks a 1000 miles
To fall down at your door."

Made for Me
Many people have sacrificed much for me to be who I am, none more than my mom, Emily Racey.  She was really my great aunt and in her mid-40's when she adopted me, I say "she" because my stepfather, Fred, was an alcoholic and talked a good line but often couldn't live up to it.  His mouth usually overloaded his ass on the major stuff.  So they divorced when I was 7 or 8 years old and mom raised me by herself from then on.  Money was more than a little tight, yet she always found birthday and Christmas gifts for me, nice clothes and shoes (not many of either) and healthy food.  To this day I don't know how she managed to do so much with so little.  Yet she was always optimistic, cheerful and had a smile for everyone.  She was like a mom to all my friends and some of my cousins, too.  She was the finest person I've ever known and she was self less when it came to sacrificing for others.

My wives, especially Diane and Zoe, also sacrificed a lot for me.  Diane followed me during my Air Force career and early days at Carolina Power & Light while raising two little kids, and Zoe followed me to Boone to pursue my dream of having my own business and living by a river in the mountains.  My deepest thanks to both of you.  LaVerne sacrificed her independence and home for me and openly shared her livelihood when my business wasn't doing well.  She helped me through a very difficult time and I'm eternally grateful.   All of these women sacrificed for me. 

Made for Others
Financial sacrifices for my children just came with the territory.  Doing without something so they could have something happened fairly often.  I guess these things fit the definition of sacrifice, but it just didn't seem that way at the time.  It was simply the thing to do. 

For my mom, I wasn't able to sacrifice enough.  No excuses.  That's just the way it was.  She needed more care than I was able to provide so she went to a nursing home for her final years.  She wanted me to care for her in my home and I wasn't able to do that.  It has been 25 years since she passed away and I'm still coming to terms with that.  One day it will be okay....one day. 

For my kids, Zoe and my father, Lee Campbell, I sacrificed pieces of my flesh at a sun dance ceremony in South Dakota one summer.  They were just little pieces, there was no pain and the scars still remind me of that day.  Those prayers were answered many times over and I'm grateful for those ways. 

For LaVerne, I gave all of my love, my time and myself to care for her in the last days of her life.  I would do it again without hesitation.  When my work finally returned, I had to let it go while I cared for her, then grieved for her. 

The Future
I don't spend much time thinking about the future as I continue to strive to live in the moment.  Still, there are choices to be made and sacrifices go right along with choices.  To choose one is to let go of the other. 

Now someone has come into my life who has captured my heart and gives me much love.  The romance is fun and sweet and deeply satisfying in so many ways.  It feels good to love and be loved again. Yet to pursue it will require sacrifice, for her and for me.  As James Garner said in "Murphy's Romance", I have one romance left in me and this may be it. 

The color of sacrifice is the color of love, whatever hue that might take.  Maybe red or pink or lavender or blue.....or a constantly moving, changing blend of shades and reflections.

It is in the giving up that so much more is gained.

Sleepy Hollow

This week there was a baseball tournament, so nephew Jason's fan club gathered to watch the games.  It's rare for Luis and Barbara to get to watch the games, as work often prevents them from doing so.  This week, however, all of Jason's fan club (except Mike, who was working) attended one of the games and had a fine time at dinner afterward. 

Jason, Al and Luis

Barbara and Jennifer

Yesterday I hopped on the Burg and scooted to Bushnell to ride with Marie through the beautiful countryside up there.  We visited Croom State Park, a very unusual place with murky black water, cypress knees and giant snail shells.  It was very quiet and peaceful there and we thoroughly enjoyed the scenary and the ride.

We left the park and headed for Sleepy Hollow for some lunch.  We went there last time we rode and it is a very cool place.  I got to meet the owner this time and had a nice chat with him.  He started this place after he retired and it's doing very well!  Plus, he and his wife are caring for his aging father, which is what Marie used to do for a living.  Perhaps there is a "win-win" in the cards for them.  I hope so.  Good connection.

If you're ever near Floral City, FL, do stop in.  There was ice in the bottle of my Miller Lite, the food is good and the service is even better!  It's a very friendly place and a good time will be had!  http://www.wallowatthehollow.com/

Beauty surrounds me here so it's easy to find a good picture.  Tonight there will be a huge full moon, but I doubt that I'll get a good pic as they are hard to do.  So here's a recent sunset.  Also, my highest regard to Vern Nelson, my former father-in-law who underwent successful hip surgery today and is recovering.  He's one of the finest men I've ever known and I will always hold him in high regard.  Speedy recovery, Vern! 

Thanks for stopping by!

Disney World-3

This morning I updated my itinerary with the latest tentative plans.  The trip out west is taking shape and reservations need to be made.  But it is coming together nicely and the excitement is building.

Sure wish I'd been thinking when Barbara took this picture.  I would have turned to my left, eyes wide open, mouth agape in a blood curdling scream and hands thrown up like the little monster was about to eat me alive.!  You'll just have to use your imagination this time until I can return for another photo op. 

Before touring Dinoland, Barbara and I sat on a bench for over an hour, savoring our corn dogs, watching the people go by and waiting for the parade to begin.  We had lucked into an excellent seat and when we realized it, didn't want to give it up.  It was hard to get good pics of the parade, due to our location and the size of the moving exhibits.  But it sure was fun!  Lots of music, smiles, laughter and waving.  There's nothing like a parade to boost your spirits, although ours didn't need much boosting at this point. 

Tired from touring the animal kingdom all day, we headed to Downtown Disney to find a good restaurant for dinner.  We had been frustrated the night before by the long lines and longer waits, so we got an early jump at the Rain Forest  restaurant and had a wonderful time.  Barbara headed to the bar and found 2 seats right away while I signed us up for a table.  The table wait was very short, but by the time it came we were having so much fun at the bar, we didn't want to leave!

Gerri and Barbara

People were coming and going and Barbara has never met a stranger.  Our bartender's name was Jacob and he was excellent!  He was fast, efficient, friendly and anticipated our every need.  Plus he had a sparkling personality and was just plain fun.  Every so often the lights would dim, the lightening would flash, thunder would roll and the rain would come down-just like in a real rain forest.  By the way, the margarita's were two of the best I've ever had!  Thank you, Jacob!

Jacob

Our ride home the next day was spent talking about our good memories and making plans to come back.  We both want to see the Magic Kingdom, as it has been a long time since we've been there.  It was truly a magical trip, thanks to Walt Disney and his imagination.  What a brilliant man.  He has always been a hero of mine and still is.  Thanks for sharing this time with me, sis.  It was terrific!

Barbara and me

Since returning from DW, life has been very busy spending time with a new friend and catching up on chores, like laundry.  The new friend departed a couple of days ago and life has returned to quiet solitude.  I guess this is my new normal, and that's okay.  Good memories fill my mind much of the time and plans for making new ones fill much of the rest.  Meanwhile, there is nephew Jason's baseball to be enjoyed and a St. Patrick's Day party here at Sun n Fun this evening.  I've never celebrated St. Patty's day much, so this year I'm going to focus on my grandson ( Patrick is his name and he certainly is no saint!), because he sure is cute and a fine little fellow.   Thanks for stopping by and I hope your enjoyed your visit here!

Disney World-2

It's a battle at the laundromat today, hence the separate blog entries.  I didn't want to risk losing an entry so I just did two instead.  Between them, I raced to grab the dryer that needs no coins, barely edging out a guy headed for the same one.  When he saw I had him beat, he just pulled up and smiled at me, realizing that I was a veteran of the washer wars and not to be messed with.  "Skill, finesse and cunning," as we used to say in pilot training, wins every time!  Even at the laundromat. 

The Tree of Life is near the entrance to the Animal Kingdom and dominates the backdrop.  The trunk has engravings of birds and beasts and is very beautiful.  It reminds me of the tree from the movie Avatar and is similar in many ways.  We started in Africa with a train ride, a walking tour and a very cool demo with a falcon on a naturalists arm.  We got our Fast Pass (a new process since my last visit) for the Kilimanjaro Safaris, a nice tour in an open-air safari vehicle.  We saw gazelles, elephants, rhinos, crocodiles and giraffes and hippos, all roaming freely in the open park.  It was veeery nice indeed! 

The gorillas were not roaming free, thank goodness, but the view of them was great.  This silver back came straight toward me for this shot, then went off to the side to be alone for a while.  Barbara spotted a baby scampering across the top of the hill, too quick for a photo. 

I'm not sure which was more fascinated with the other, the kid or the egret.  It was a very pleasing sight to say the least. 

Our walking tour continued through Asia then to Dinoland.  Dinoland was like a funny version of Jurassic Park so as not to be so scary I guess.  It was all a wonder to behold! 

This is all the server will let me do for now, so there will be a part 3. 



Disney World- 1

Last Friday Barbara and I took off for Disney World to enjoy a weekend of acting like children, and we did!  It was a gorgeous day, sunny and cool, and a cloudless sky.  Our check in at the resort was easy and relatively quick, so we were soon in the park and looking at all the beauty. 

Once we got oriented, we realized how hungry we were and headed for this English style pub.  Barbara had good ole traditional fish and chips and I had a favorite, a Scottish egg and a pint of Boddington.  We then proceeded to tour the "countries", stopping at Italy, Canada and China.  We had tickets for the 6:00 show at Cirque de Soleil, so we had to pace our touring a bit.  This was fine with me, as I had partied hard the night before and was a tad sleep deprived and tired.  It was still a wonderful afternoon. 

Barbara loved the fairy garden so we spent some time looking at all the beautiful creations there.  Butterflies were plentiful, too, and added to the ambiance. 

My friend Bruce, who still gets to hang with the astronauts once in while, told me that they told him this ride, Mission: Space, was as close to the real thing as you could get.  So I had to give it a go.  It was spectacular!  When the ride began, I was staring up at the sky will clouds and sea gulls going by.  Blast off was loud and had a very real feel to it.  We pulled more than a couple of G's, which felt real good after so many years without them, and there were even a few negative ones at times.  There was some rockin' and rollin' and terrific visuals and sounds.  Overall, it was one of the best rides I've ever been on and the best of any kind in many, many years. 
As it did the last time I saw it, in Vegas many years ago, Cirque de Soleil exceeded all of my expectations and Barbara's as well.  It was colorful, full of splendid acrobatics, light and sound and music.  Wonderfully staged and executed to a T, it was absolutely spell binding!  The show was called La Nouba and the venue was built just for Cirque.  It is called "a boundless and festive journey into the imagination", and it is.  It is "where the mundane meets the marvelous...and dreams and nightmares intertwine."  You can see more at www.cirquedusoleil.com.  The pictures alone are with the website visit. 

The greatest beauty that I witnessed this day wasn't the scenery or the rides or even my beautiful sister,Barbara, but an incident on the bus as we left Epcot for our hotel.  It was standing room only, with a young boy of 6 or 7 standing with his mother in front of me.  Sitting to my right was a mother, her young daughter (also about 6 or 7), and the father.  The boy was very agitated and insisting on sitting down, while his mother tried to comfort him and explain there was no place to sit.  Suddenly he moved in front of the little girl and tried to sit on her lap!  The girl's mother became quite upset, scowling at the little boy and a bit angry.  Suddenly her face changed, she asked her husband to stand up and her daughter to move over so the little boy could sit.  As he sat, he reached over and took the hand of the girl's mother who said, "He was afraid."  She then put her arm around him and he leaned his head on her shoulder.  As I watched this, the tears ran down my face from under my sunglasses and I was glad to have them to hide behind.  It was one of the most touching things I've ever seen.  The mother of the girl seemed to have an intuitive moment, as a mother, which told her the little boy was afraid and not being aggressive or meaning harm.  Just like Walt Disney to bring a few tears along with the laughter.  Oh yeah!

The Color of Pleasure-2

Pleasure of a warm fire

Note: The text in italics was changed after the first version went out. 
The title comes from Howard Hanger's message at Jubilee! on February 27 and, as is so often the case, it's a doozie!  I continue to be amazed at how often his messages speak to what's on my mind or in my heart and this one certainly did.  Here are the parts that rang my bell.  I won't even pretend to give the whole message, but it's there on the website if you want it.

Last night at the Sierra's for dinner, I mentioned I had met a new lady and enjoyed her company a lot.  Of course it's no secret to anyone who knows me that I like the ladies and always have.  It just seems that lately there have been more than a few passing through my life.  Jennifer commented that I was a "player" and I heard it in a negative way, not that she intended it to be negative.  I asked her to define what she meant and she did so very clearly: a man who is seeing several women and not making a commitment.  Yep, that's me.
[Note: This was still bothering me so I consulted Wikipedia and found the following for "player" (dating): slang term for an individual (usually male but also female) skilled at sexual seduction, or a male that will date a female and then dump her almost immediately.  While I may have stopped seeing someone after a date or two, she got an explanation from me and it was usually because we weren't a good match.  As for my skills at sexual seduction, if you want to know more, ask!]

So this morning while listening to Jubilee! I realized that my reaction came from the first time I was ever called a player, by a former lover who I had just broken up with.  We had seen a lot of each other over a long period of time and it became clear to me that a long term relationship wasn't going to work.  She spat the word at me in her anger and it hurt just like it was supposed to.  I did a very poor job of ending that relationship, so I didn't judge her anger - but it still hurt. 

LaVerne and me, pleasure of love

Howard spoke of pleasure as a way to be transported, lifted out of our current state and allowed to connect with the Divine.  It may be the pleasure of a sweet chocolate, or flowers, or the touch of a lover, or the sound of sweet music.  It is our greatest gift from the creator because it helps us to experience God not just think about him/her. 

Me and V on Tail of the Dragon, good ride!

Laughter is a form of pleasure that lifts the veil and lets us connect with the divine.  In that moment when we open our mouth and laugh out loud, we have no worries, hurts or concerns.  We simply exist in that moment in a blissful way. 

We then sang the good ole hippy song "Feelin' Groovy".

From the Hebrew scriptures:  "Therefore I will now allure her and bring her into the wilderness."  This was God speaking to Israel.  However, it could also be the Holy One speaking to us!   Accept it, enjoy it, allow it. 

Flowers, music and candlelight are associated with romance and religion.  We find these things on the altars of churches and the tables of romantic dinners. 

Allah speaks of eating with ones hands, washed first so the utensils are clean, as a way of not eating too much and being in touch, literally, with the food and the Divine presence.  It is a more pleasurable way to eat, especially fruits and such.  He also mentioned belching and farting as pleasure associated with eating in many cultures, yet seldom do we imagine the Pope, Allah or especially Jesus doing these things.  I must admit the thought made me squirm, then it made me giggle! 

Pleasure of great food, by Chef Luis

Pleasure is not evil.  It's a gift from God.  Then we sang "I Feel Good!"  Oh yeah!  Thank you, Howard, for saying what I needed to hear, when I needed to hear it.  I look forward to being back there in person soon!

Pleasure of a sunset

PS  I'm reminded of an old hymn sung often in the Baptist church when I was a kid:  "Love Lifted Me".  It did, and it still does!

Namaste!

Spring Time in Florida

My friend Jan from Raleigh was here visiting this week and we spotted this beautiful bougainvillea on Casey Key.  It was a solid wall of blooms.  Never saw any quite like it before.  What a treat!

We played a lot of gin rummy  and I am the 2011 spring champion, thanks to an incredible run of good cards.  Jan was very game and made many attempts to come back, but it was sorta like the Duke-Carolina game - Carolina was just destined to win that one!  What a great game it was.  A super fine finish to the season. 

We just had to visit Myakka State park and while there, spotted Fred the 12 foot gator lounging in the shallow water about half way up the pic, right side.  It was a very windy day, which gators don't like, so we didn't see very many.  Similarly, there weren't many birds, either.  It was still a gorgeous day on the Burgman with Jan. 

On Sunday we headed to St. Armand's Circle to hang with the rich folks and do some shopping and people watching - Jan the former, me the later.  It was another splendid day and the food at Columbia Restaurant was superb, as always.  It was worth the long wait for a table. 

Our trip to Casey Key also included a short stop at the tiki bar near the fish camp restaurant.  We had attempted some fishing on the inland waterway near Venice, but the rocky bottom claimed too many hooks and sinkers too quickly for it to be fun.  Lots of fish were being caught at the Venice jetty, but we didn't have a license and didn't want to get ourselves caught by the man.  It was fun to watch others doing the catching, though. 

After taking Jan to the Tampa airport, I came back and slept for a couple of hours.  It sure did feel good.  The air was cool, the bed was warm and I was very sleepy from being on the road at 5:15.  It was a rare treat to see the sunrise as I came across the Sunshine Skyway bridge.  I was very tempted to try for a picture, but I really needed two hands on the wheel and both eyes on the road at that early hour. 

The rest of today was spent doing chores and helping friend Ginger with checking the air in the tires of all her vehicles.  Let's see;  there were 13 tires all total.  I had volunteered to help, since she has a little trouble kneeling.  How come 13 you say?  One SUV; one golf cart; one bicycle and one 3-wheeled device that I don't know the name of.  The little tires on the 3-wheeler took 90psi!  They felt like rocks!

March is slipping by very rapidly and in no time I'll be back in Asheville.  Lots of mixed feelings about leaving, but that's the nature of a traveler.  Bon voyage!